Guest Post: Wedding Party

Hi all - I'm so excited to be swapping blog posts today with Wedding Party, an awesome blog featuring inspiration and DIY ideas for parties, weddings, honeymoons and beyond! Stephanie will be sharing some really helpful tips on getting engaged and choosing the right ring for you. As a girl in my late 20s, this topic has been on my mind a whole lot lately and I'm sure some of you are in the same boat! :)

Oh, and don't forget to head over to Wedding Party today and read my gift guide for engagement parties!

So you’ve found your better half, and want to make it forever. Unfortunately, there are complications to engagements that can make an otherwise amazing experience somewhat stressful. Namely, finding the perfect ring and communicating your desires to your future fiance can always be a little tricky - you want to be clear but not too forward, you want it to be perfect but also a surprise. So what the heck is a girl to do? Here’s some advice on finding the perfect ring for you, and how to make sure you get it.

Think about your style & be realistic The first thing you should consider is your style. While this sounds like a no-brainer, it’s incredibly easy to get swept away in pictures of dazzlingly gorgeous rings that you might actually not love in real life. Take a look at your closet, your jewelry box, your shoes, and think about what your dream wedding would be like. If you feel the most comfortable in casual, laid-back outfits, you might not actually want that Beyonce-size bling. On the flip side, if your style is more girly and traditional, you might want to reconsider putting that indie Etsy engagement ring on your wishlist.

Educate yourself on what you like! This totally goes hand in hand with considering your style. There are tons of different options out there for engagement ring stones, cuts, and settings. The best way to know what you like is to know what’s out there. That way when you actually go ring shopping or create your wishlist, you won’t be overwhelmed by every single sparkly choice you see. If you don’t know where to get started, read this helpful article by The Knot.

Remember: There’s a budget involved So you’ve dreamed of the ring and created a secret Pinboard of all your favorite styles, but there may be one teeny tiny detail you might have been forgetting: the price. While it’s expected that your fiance-to-be won’t skimp on the ring, you (hopefully) don’t want to cause too much damage to his bank account. While thinking budget is no fun, it’s important to keep yourself grounded in realistic expectations about your engagement ring to minimize stress and disappointment.

Should you go with him? (And alternatives)
So here’s the big question (besides the “will you marry me”, of course): should you two go ring shopping together? A lot of brides-to-be feel conflicted over this. Should you choose the ring of your dreams, or trust him to choose for the sake of secrecy? Here are some points to consider.

First of all, if you don’t care about the secrecy aspect, then you should just go with him. It’ll be easier as you’ll both know he’s getting the perfect ring and the perfect size.

If you want it to be a secret but kinda-actually-really just want him to get THE ring, there are a few ways you can get your wish. If you have a close sibling or friend that’s comfortable around your fiance, you might ask them to tell him directly what ring your eyeing, or offer to go ring shopping with him. I’ve also heard of sneaky brides leaving a webpage up, tearing out a picture in a magazine, or not-so-subtly sending him an email with a link. You can pretend like you meant to send it to your best friend, if that makes you feel less forward... I won’t tell anyone :)

If you’re fine with a bunch of different options, the best thing you can do in this scenario is send him a list, and then leave the rest up to him. It’s an easy way to get what you want, while still maintaining a shred of surprise at the time of the proposal.

Be patient - he’s trying work it out!
Here’s something you need to know: if you’ve talked about getting engaged, and he says he wants to get married someday, chances are he’s going to propose at some point. You just have to be patient, even though waiting sucks! There are so many things he’ll need to pull together - the money for the ring, permission from your family (if he’ll ask), actually buying the ring, planning the proposal - that it might take months. Or years. Well, hopefully not years, but you get the idea. If you’ve openly talked about getting engaged, then give it time and trust in your better half to plan it right - because he will.

If you’re just starting to think about getting engaged and haven’t broached the subject with him yet, never fear! Yes, it can be awkward to be the first person to bring it up, and you don’t want to freak him out. But there are definitely ways to ease into the conversation. This article from Glamour has a couple good tips for bringing up your feelings on marriage. While I can’t say they are tried and true (aka I haven’t tried them), they may be a good starting point.